One hurts, two tortures, three kills... (the steps you take away from me)

I guess, that today's entry is not going to be as happy as I normally am... but today, it's not a happy day... yeah, this is one of those days... Once again, I hurt someone that I love... and I deceived her, I know that she used to think that I was so strong that nothing can beat me, but the truth, it's that I'm not that strong, I'm indeed pretty week, I've always been, and I'm so sorry, because the last thing that I want in this world its make she sad, I just wanted to make her happy, but it turned up in something that I wasn't expecting. Yesterday was supposed to be her day but I ruined it, as I usually do, when I really care about someone, and I really don't know what's the matter with me, that I can't never make someone happy...I guess that something it's wrong with me... But for now, I just want her to know that she is one of the most special people I've ever known, and that I would do anything  just to stay with her, because I love her and I mean it... even if she doesn't believe me right now, I would fight against the entire world if it's necessary just to prove that I actually care about her, that she's one of the most important things in my life, and see her eyes gazing at me it's the most beautiful thing that happen to me everyday, and hearing she laughing it's sweet and it makes me so happy. But I'm so afraid of her, of her voice, I'm afraid of hearing that words, please don't ever say it, don't say that you don't want me anymore, because there's nothing in this world that could hurt me so much as that words. But don't remain quite neither, first, because I love your voice, when you're talking to me, and the sense of it, and secondly because I'm also afraid of you having nothing to say, because the words are not strong enough... I'm so sorry, because I'm not perfect, because I know that I'm not the girl of your dreams, and I know that I'm no the only one in your life, and that this is not the first time that someone says something like this to you... but believe me, if I say it, it's because I really feel it.

But please, don't leave me without the light of your eyes and the warmth of your arms, you know that if you go away, I'll be totally unprotected, and I'm sorry about that, but I need you more every day, and every word you don't say, every smile that you keep for yourself, hurts me more with every step you take away from me... so please, don't take another one.

For someone I don't want to lose...